Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Blaargh

Ah Real Life. Yeah...it gets in the way of SL sometimes. That's not always a bad thing. When you get back to it, most of your landmarked stores have new stuff! In RL, you can't drag me into a clothing store. In SL...I go willingly (even happily).

Stuff in RL that just makes the sands of available time for SL run out before you realize it:

1 - Netflicks subscription.

2 - The sudden need to re-watch all of "Firefly".

3 - Family needing you to watch their house.

4 - (In my case) Major bibliophilia flare-up (that would be an all consuming need to read a bunch of books).

5 - Guests from out of town.

But hey, I'll probably be back and be-bopping along in my avatar self soon enough. Real Life must always run it's course. :)

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Second Life Tails

Okay, so I admit...

I didn't get it.

I couldn't understand what was up with all the tails on otherwise perfectly normal people. To be honest I thought it looked kinda silly...I mean...if you have a horse-tail...why no hooves or other horse shaped features?

NOW I get it.

Second Life tails facilitate Second Life flirting. Very handy for shy or reserved people.

"What?" "Huh?"

Yep...those tails have chat text options when you touch them. And the person whose tail you are "touching" can react in many ways. They can express enjoyment at having their tail "touched" (which can lead to other things), or they can politely continue friendly conversation, maybe act like they've been tickled...friendly but unassuming.

Everyone knows people do not have tails (actually some are born with vestigial tails, but doctors obviously remove them). So in Second Life...here you have a body part that YOU alone decide...by your reaction to who is touching it...just how "attached" that tail is to your avatar. And because it's a tail, both parties in the conversation get to interpret whether or not the tail touching is innocent or frisky. Interpreting an Xcite! Nipple Touch in public does not leave as much room for interpretation, and can be very awkward and mutually embarrassing.

But tails? Tails are a wonderful grey area.

I saw a blogpost somewhere (and dammit I cannot recall where), and someone was talking about how guys in Second Life seem to completely ignore the women who have taken the time to make their avatars look really good...and instead pay attention to the folks (not necessarily RL girls either...but shhhh) who look like they graduated from tramp academy.

I WISH I could remember where I saw that....anyway...part of it talked about the possibility that guys were intimidated by well put together avatars (just as they are with ladies in RL). But I see a solution to this problem. The well dressed lady looking for a little fun, should add these touchable tails to their well-coiffed avatar!

This allows another person to touch your tail (maybe) on "accident" in a casual manner that enables them to strike up the courage to converse depending on how you react to the tail touch.

Genius!

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Second Life Identity

I see an interesting thing happen to folks on SL. They start out as a Noobie with that generic fuzzy appearance we all recall with dread. And each person evolves to their own tastes, dreams, and wishes.

It's wonderful.

What I find amazing (and a little perplexing) are the folks walking around SL who seem to have self-limited their avatar. Body shape, skin color, species. You could be a completely different creature every day. You could be a vampire, an elf, a neko, a furry, a demon, anything you want, all in the course of a week.

A couple days ago, I was shopping for gowns, turned around...and found I was clothes shopping with a unicorn that had a baby dragon perched on its rump! How cool is that?!

I can understand folks self-limiting because of the cost. It does cost Lindens to have a lot of avatar variety. But I think the desire for variation is kind of a new thing. Designs have improved. When I was first on in 2007, animal shapes had a distinctly overly rounded in places sketched look. Horses legs didn't even move. It looked pretty raw.

There has been stunning improvement since, and I see lots of people now embracing nonhuman variations for their avatars as opposed to 2007.

So look at your avatar self. Take all the elements in your inventory that make your current look, make copies (add clothes so you don't wind up naked) of the elements that make that avatar "you", and put it all in a folder marked **Quick Me**.

There.

Now you can access your favorite shape, skin, hair, eyes, and basic outfit all in one inventory click by right clicking that folder and selecting Add to outfit.

Boom. No matter WHAT you do now, the you you is right there. Accessible in seconds.

Now that those elements are not scattered throughout your inventory, you may feel more free to experiment, because no matter WHAT you do... *click* you can be YOU again.

Now get out there and explore your inner octopus! Or beastman! Or robot! Or...

Friday, January 23, 2009

Single-Hood In SL

I'm a single adult in RL. I'm fully aware that being a single female in real life is still viewed culturally as somewhat of an oddity. I do have a BF, and we are happy with our lives as they are. But other people like to stick their noses in our business. Whenever others ask me how my relationship is going, they cannot help themselves, they feel a compulsion to urge me towards altering my relationship, regardless of whether or not such an alteration is in the best interest of the two people who are actually involved in it.

I get told in various ways that I should be using tactics ranging from polite suggestion, to downright blackmail, to "make" my BF "pop the question". And in his case, he gets the suggestion that I should be popping out his kids. Never mind that he tells people we are perfectly happy being childfree and just as we are, no one believes the woman in his life really wants that. Fortunately, we are both immune to social pressure and together we laugh at the world trying to tell us what to do.

So when I got on SL again for the first time in over a year, I started to notice a trend that I considered somewhat "new". Maybe it was around when I was on before, but there wasn't as much emphasis on it as there is now. And that of course is that little box in everyone's profile. The one for you Partner in Second Life.

When I noticed it, I thought: "Wow, that's a sweet idea.". I'm afraid I've begun to change my mind about how I feel about that.

For one thing, "partnering" doesn't mean the same thing to everyone. And I think a lot of hurt feelings could be well avoided if there were some serious discussion between people over how their partnership will be defined before they do it. And for the rest of us, those of us outside the partnership, it might be nice if there was a brief description of how your partnership is defined within the body of your profile, particularly if you have a mutually "open" arrangement with your partner.

Why? Because not everyone defines SL Partnership as romantically monogamous, and at the same time, other folks see SL partnership as "serious" (sometimes even more so) like a real life romance.

The thrill of a SL flirtation gets a splash of cold water on it for me when I look at the profile to find that the person flirting with me is Partnered to someone. Is this person looking to SL "cheat" with me? I don't LIKE drama. I'm quite allergic to it in fact. And the last thing I have any interest in, is getting an IM from a deeply hurt person I've never met, venting their pain and anger at ME when they are really too emotionally attached to their Partner to address the issue directly with THEM.

The other beef I have with the Partner field on my profile, there are folks walking around SL who seem to have a vendetta against that space being blank. It's like the real life equivalent of being asked (back before I was seeing anyone) "Why don't you have a BF?". People can be quite extreme about other people's personal marital status. One time, a former BF of mine who I'd stayed friends with after our relationship was over, was so disturbed by my continued singlehood, he told me if I was still unmarried by the time he returned from overseas, he was going to "make an honest woman of me." *blink blink* What? What the hell was I supposed to say, "Thanks for your sacrifice of bachelorhood to save me from being single?" It seemed totally nuts to me. Needless to say, I made sure I did not run across him after he got back. But not long ago...I've had SL encounters that sort of mirrored this very conversation.

I'd just meet someone, and they say "You aren't Partnered." (I hate statements that make replies awkward). I confirm what they already knew, and these persons volunteered to be my SL Partners. They'd known me for about 1/2 an hour, 2 hours tops.

Okay. I gotta admit, I have a hard enough time remembering to be socially accessible enough to maintain regular SL friendships. I am an introvert. And while I did see Botgirl's blog post showing that RL introverts can turn into extroverts on SL (which is pretty interesting), it seems I'm not one of them. Which I'm actually kind of sad about, because it would be interesting to see what extroversion feels like.

I have to force sociability in SL as much as I do in RL, or I just don't do it at all. I don't think it would be fair to partner with someone who may (understandably) have expectations of spending lots of SL time with me, when I'd just as soon be off exploring sims, or practicing building by myself. After all, just because I'm perfectly comfortable and satisfied with my own company most of the time (not ALL the time, as those of you who know or are introverts understand), that doesn't mean I'm completely insensitive or apathetic to other people needing higher levels of interaction. Just like real life, the needs between Partners need to complement each other. Since I feel no need for a SL partner, to subject another person to what may seem like indifference on my part would be very unfair.

So I have no SL Partner. I imagine other people have had the same problem I've been having, and likely have agreed to "Partner" with someone, or one of their own alts...just to fill the field in, and get other people to not bug them about it. But why should any of us have to resort to that? Why is anything in our profile page open to the criticism of others? Where do other people get off essentially feeling they have a right to imply our profile is somehow "incomplete" (and by extension, so are WE) because we are not significantly linked to another avatar?

I can't say I'm impressed that the real life social pressure to couple up has made it's way into Second Life. People's relationships should be their own business, but society at large (in both Lives) seem to have difficulty with the concept of respecting individual choice.

I'm just waiting for Linden to create a new field in Profiles that tells everyone how many Prim Babies are in our inventory. Why not? One more RL piece of public nosiness that can be emulated in SL to increase "realism".

"You don't have kids? Why nooooot?"

Can't wait!

Getting Noticed

Wow.

Two fantastic people have made reference to my blog in their blogs. Cheyenne Palisades and Melissa Yeuxdoux. I'm flattered to my toes you guys. Wow. I'm surprised by how that makes me feel. I started the blog somewhat for myself, but knowing that other people might start reading it. I kinda figured: "Hey start a blog, folks will read your stuff and that will be cool."

I mean, I'm a member of a couple online forums, people have commented on stuff I've written before, this really isn't any different right?

Actually, it's very different. Most of my posts will be centering around my thoughts and opinions about a World that I share with my readers. Unlike my real life, where I'm separated by considerable geography from other online acquaintances, when it comes to SL, we are all just a TP away from some of the things I might want to talk about.

It just feels different, knowing that in a virtual context, someone could actually walk (or fly) up to me and tell me they read my stuff.

Part of me worries of course. After all, I'm going to start tackling some things my readers (now that a have a few) might have pretty strong opinions about. But at the same time, if all the voices in all the blogs are saying the same things, why have all the blogs? What good is my freedom of speech if it's someone else's *sanitized for public protection* words coming out of my mouth because I start being worried about offending others? What is the point if all the ideas about the same issues are all the same?

"Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!" - Admiral David Farragut

One thing goes without question. I need to start getting some damn pictures on here!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Showdown in the Office

Again...veering off from SL for a bit today to share a frustrating/comforting moment at work today. And it centered around the event of this morning, the inauguration of our 44th president of the United States.

The frustrating part was the disparity, the comfort...was that it WAS generational.

Let me explain. About 2/3rds the workplace now consists of employees under 35 years of age. And then the final 1/3rd are folks over 45.

So here is what happened. Those of us in the 2/3rds category, regardless of how we'd voted, or our personal politics...were eager to listen to the inaugural address on the radio. History was being made after all. So we crank up the radio...got quiet...and listened while we worked.

Now...remember that 1/3rd group? Fortunately, on my floor, they are in a different part of the building, but that didn't stop them from walking by and making comments. One said "Turn that Shit off!" (we ignored him). And I found out from another co-worker (in the 2/3rds group) who was able to overhear another woman who fell in the 1/3rd group making comments that were downright racist.

I can tell you, those of us in the younger generation were rather shocked by it. But the GOOD thing about this...the only people being blatantly intolerant and close-minded were all over 45. To me, it indicates that blatant discrimination in general could be headed for the retirement home.

This could be a good thing. As the younger generation begins taking the reins of power, we do so with a distinctly different mindset from generations past. Of course those pages of history have not yet written whether or not this change was a triumph or a disaster as that is yet to be seen. But with change comes hope.

We shall see.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Petite Perils

This go round in SL...I admit I have surrendered. I gave up. I really tried having an avatar shape that was an accurate 5'1". But a month ago *sigh*. I now walk around at 5'10" (without shoes). I'm STILL petite from an SL perspective. But I did so reluctantly. I am proudly petite in RL...but there are some things in SL that are NO fun at 5'1".

1 - Dancing at clubs with a partner. Every animation had me hovering 3 to four feet in the air. Which never went without comment.

2 - Furniture poseballs. Looks great....sitting INSIDE that pretty chair.

3 - Hours re-sizing clothes, hair, and shoe prims. Don't get me started. This sometimes meant resizing each individual prim of cloth in a skirt. And that's not funny with skirts made of 86 freaking prims. A lot of clothes...you just can't rationally buy.

4 - Bigger than comfortable boobs. On a small av, that doesn't seem like much...but trying to have a smaller chest size did lead to the occasional "child avatar" accusation. Lord knows TONS of children walk around dressed as biker chicks.

5 - I didn't know about movelock last time. Yeah. Think about that in a SL crowd. Or better yet....don't.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Second Life Culture: Preface

One of the most persistent snafus I see in terms of social relations on SL...is simply ignorance, or indifference to where freedom of the individual ends, and where indiscretion begins.

Consider....when you go to a department store in RL...when you find clothes you like, do you just strip down to put them on in front of all the other shoppers? No. When you are in crowded public with your RL significant other, do you announce for all to hear...how you cannot wait to do this-or-that with him and start lewdly pawing him in public? No (and if you do...you really shouldn't...unless you plan to be a porn
star...and in that case...why the free show?).

Making people uncomfortable is not how we express our freedoms. It's how we rub other people's noses in our freedoms...and that means someone is missing out on some damn freedom.

There is stuff that should STILL be relatively private...even in SL. Heck...you want to have an intimate encounter in public? There are whole sims dedicated to public sex. Go there. It's not like these places aren't around.

And here is where we get to the lifestyles that make up SL. Lots of people are into different things, just like Real Life. What is NOT like real life is the notion that other people are eager to hear about your particular lifestyle. I have never in real life, had a total stranger walk up to me at the grocery store to evangelize about how great pony-play is. But I see comparable conversations in SL all the time.

People...the same social rules that make real life function without everyone killing each other, are the same rules that really should be applied in SL too. Get to KNOW a person...THEN decide if they are someone who might be interested in your lifestyle. Don't try to "recruit" just for the sake of recruiting! Come on...you KNOW people in real life hate this! Unless you clap your hands with glee when you notice the Mormons working your neighborhood...you already understand people don't like to be randomly solicited. So why do that in SL? It's lazy. You are more interested in promoting your lifestyle, than you are interested in the people you are talking to. And people know it, and quickly despise you for it.

And remember...when you represent a lifestyle, people associate your actions with the lifestyle group as a whole. If you give them cause to despise you, they will despise your group as a whole, and isn't that the very opposite of what you want? Human nature is geared to have greater recall for negative experiences than positive ones...so while one person may be around 7 SL vampires all the time who are cool and courteous...the one vamp they are going to think about most often (and not in a good way), is the one who sent a bite request without so much as a "Hello".

As for the undressing in public thing...this really is avoidable. I know some folks carry around their own private dressing room, and while that is an option...when I'm making adjustments to something it could be troublesome if my camera doesn't have room to pan around me and gets stuck in a wall.

There ARE dressing rooms in SL. A particular favorite of mine is the Bare Rose Fitting Room & Spa. I have to admit, there may be better fitting room spaces out there for ladies, but I was so satisfied with this one, I did not look further.

I know it's troublesome, But I teleport back to the Fitting Room before leaving SL (unless I crash of course). Making this sort of an unofficial "Home" That way, if I log on and want to change clothes first thing...I obviously don't have to go anywhere to do it.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Second Life Culture: Intro

Before I get into my opinions and musings on this topic (and really it's
the kind of thing that's bound to spread itself over several posts), my
readers may wish to know what qualifies me to make my opinions public.

Well, in real life, I do have a bachelors in psychology. I also should
have applied for official recognition of Minors that I accidently
qualified for along the way in History, Anthropology, and
Sociology...but I was so focused on taking care of getting my major
taken care of, the Minors really did slip my attention until my advisor
(whom I never used) pointed out my qualification for them when he was
signing off on my fulfilled requirements for my psych degree...but at
the time I was so frazzled by college and the whole system, I was fully
dedicated to making my escape without any pit stops on the way.

During my formal education, I made some surprise discoveries about
myself. I had expected that Abnormal Psych would be my primary interest.
It wasn't. Abnormal psych I actually found boring. People who suffer
within the categories of abnormal psychology have behaviors and emotions
that stem from fairly clear cut causes.

My surprises came when I took Social Psych. That's the psych of the
general public. The stuff we accept and pass off as "normal" psychology.
Big Deal, right?

Well actually...I found it to be a really damn Big Deal. The stuff most
people blithely pass off as "abnormal" or "aberrant" actually fall into
THIS category of psychology. Including most criminal behaviors. And I've
not been idle since leaving formal education. I've continues my readings
in my areas of interest (cultural anthropology is a cherished favorite).

Does that qualify me to talk about the subject in regards to Second
Life? That is up to you really. Your assessment of my competency will be
deeply impacted by whether or not you agree with my opinions. So it
really is subjective.

Either way, I'm putting my opinions on this blog...because it's my damn
blog.

Righty-o then.

I'm a traveler. Seeing the world is my real life hobby. I've been to
Japan, China, Greece, Italy, France, and Spain so far. While none of
these cultures are my own, I accept and appreciate that the norms and
customs of these places work for the people who uphold them. I'm not
out to "Americanize" the world. Every culture, including my own, has
flaws and imperfections that run uncomfortably deep in places. And every
culture (even the ones commonly held by many to be "wrong" from the word
go) have something beneficial to offer others. So I have some experience
and understanding when it comes to trying to hold back the urge to
rashly pass judgment on others just for being "other".

And Second Life is a world community. Potentially offensive or upsetting
cultures or lifestyles are only a teleport away. And in the noncommittal
areas like most clubs, stores, and gathering places...all these SL
lifestyle choices rub and sometimes bump up against each other. And
sadly, that sometimes means that hurtful, or spiteful words may be
exchanged...with each party going off with an even more negative opinion
of the other party's whole lifestyle than before.

The jerkiness of one person effects your opinion of everyone like that
person, despite those others never having done one thing to you.
Obviously, this is not limited to SL...but SL in many ways is Reality
Magnified.

I've often found that the things in SL that drive me nuts are really the
same things that I'm not particularly wild about in real life. So if we
can find it in ourselves to find the joy in our common ground in
SL...maybe then we might be ready to truly be a global community in RL.

Ahh...yes. It's is the New Year, which makes me hopeful, optimistic, and sentimental about the future.

Not such a bad thing.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

A Happy New Year!

Well, 2009 is here! I actually spent it in Real Life as opposed to SL. I rent a small apartment in the basement of my parent's home. They also rent bedrooms in their home to a couple young men, one of whom I will frequently refer to as my Housemate because he is an old college chum of mine, and being my friend, is in my apartment most of the time.

So my housemate and I went up into my parents house to play dominoes with them, while the other young man in their house took off for his New Years plans. We played as pairs, and my Dad and housemate beat my Mother and I quite soundly. I'm certain they cheated of course! ;D

The rest of the evening was spent watching the second season of 'Bones' which has become a great favorite of my family's, as the forensic anthropologist the show is centered around remind them of me.

At midnight, we had some champagne and toasted the New Year.

A very quiet New Year's...but I'm not really one to celebrate events by ending an evening with my head in a toilet.

New Year's Day I did get on SL for a bit, talked to friends, and have been searching for a particular Gesture. I'm not a big gestures user, but there are some I find appropriate to convey feelings that text just doesn't quite cover.

One I rather like to use when I am very excited, is a cat's meow that causes my avatar to do a backflip. Yeah...it was a freebie, but it conveys the excitement I feel just fine.

But the one I'm trying to find is one I see text for and hear a voice for while at a club I frequent called Club Carnage.

It's a simple gesture that just announces "I love this tuuune." I know it's goofball. But it is a brief gesture...unlike ones that go on forever interrupting and annoying the be-jeezus out of everyone. Be cause I have to admit...sometimes while at the club I hear a song that I've not heard in sooo long, I'm dancing in my chair in RL.

I'm not in the habit of using the XStreet SL Exchange. But maybe I will go there to browse a bit.

A wonderful and Happy New Year to all! I hope whatever you did, in RL or SL, was fun!